The Adventures of Twitch and Claire
by alt.spooky
Summary: The insane adventures of two girls in the world of JTHM Chapter 3 loaded R/R It get a little Darker I bet it shouldn't be PG but it is! OH CAN'T YOU SEE THE VELCRO?!
1. Non-Stik Glue

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Fuzz: AHAHHAHAHAAAA!!! This shall be a little taste of our supreme literary skills peasants! Bow down! I am the rightful heir to the flaming global throne of evil!!  
  
Alt.Spooky (That's ME!): Shut up Fuzz! Don't make me put you through the trash compactor again!  
  
Fuzz: You wouldn't  
  
CRUNCH!  
  
Fuzz: BLARG!!! AHHHH!!  
  
  
  
Alt.Spooky: He never listens… On with the brain munching Fan fic of DOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!  
  
  
  
This is the adorable tale of Twitch the little homicidal maniac and her sidekick Claire the cannibal (you'll never guess who her real father is!!) and their cutie dealings with Criminally insane fathers, mothers with mace, a vampire with a giant head, a certain word, brainfreezies, and anything else that comes their way!  
  
Part 1  
  
  
  
Twitch stood in front of the mirror smiling widely. She stood 5'9'' impossibly tall for her age, though not as thin as she'd liked to be, thin by anyone's standards. Her hair was short boy-ish but it suited her well it currently was a deep blue, spiked and spun. She wore a black "Happy noodle boy" Shirt and a pair of pants too big at the waist and leg her feet couldn't be seen. A call came from downstairs and the teen ran to answer. She slid into a kitchen of white tile and red appliances Her father stood there looking quite helpless an expression he rarely gave. "Twitch… The toaster stole my fork!" He pointed to the toaster with a fork jammed into it. She laughed "Dad! Now its gunna explode!" she pulled the plug from the wall socket. His eyes grew wide "Really? OHHH!! It never said that in the manual! Can I have it please?" She looked at him "Uh… Sure…" He smiled grabbed the toaster and ran to the basement. (Know who he is yet my monkey children?)A rapid banging came from the door and she went to open it. Claire stood there as wide eyed as ever holding what looked like part of a human hand. "HIYEEEE!! TWITCH!!" She jumped though the doorway and somersaulted into the wall. "Good morning Claire…" Her friend quickly jumped up "Hey where Johnny he usually answers the door?" (AAHH I have given the secret now you must die! Ah Fuck it…)"He just found out the toasted could explode. I have a feeling we'll want to see this." Claire blinked. "Really? How'd you know that?!" "Ah… painful memories… remember when my Mom sent me to safety camp? Well I kind of…uh…yeah…" Both rushed down to the basement as well.  
  
  
  
"You Fucking Bastard! You can't do this! You won't! You don't have the balls!" Roared a man in shackles. Johnny smiled holding the toaster and placing it under the man. The two girls entered the room. "Dad we're gunna watch 'Kay?" Nny turned around "Twitch! Your not supposed to know about this!" "Dad I've known about this place since 1st grade" Claire nodded in agreement "Yeah Mr. Twitch's dad! Now Come on make him pay!" He nodded "Ok then safety goggles!" Nny tossed them each a pair. Putting them on they smiled at each other, Johnny plugged the toaster in. "3…2…1!!" He kicked the fork in. The man screamed one final time and then exploded covering the three in gore. "YAY!! DO IT AGAIN! DO…IT…AGAIN!!!!" Claire screamed. "Woo- hoo! Squeegee's gunna have nightmare all week!" Twitch clapped. Johnny C laughed. "Glad you enjoyed It." Handing each of them a Taz-E-Boy he continued "Now go hurt things! I've got to clean this up." Screaming and jumping the two ran to explore the depths of the basement.  
  
End part 1  
  
Fuzz: Hope you enjoyed this part next chapter will be done soon  
  
Alt.Spooky: R&R We don't own JTHM but do own Twitch and Claire belongs to my friend Spew 


	2. Spooky?

Alt.Spooky- AHAHAH! I told you I would be back didn't I! Didn't I? Ah well hear I am!  
  
Fuzz- Shut up or how about you do something funny!  
  
Alt.Spooky- I put you in the trash compactor what are you doing here. Why are you still alive? I saw your guts come out your eyes! (Gore! Yay!)  
  
Fuzz- I am a figment oh ye of little brainpower! My Guts can't come out my eyes!  
  
Alt.Spooky- AHH! Mom! The speed lines are chasing me! :: Runs it to a pole::  
  
Fuzz- Well now, to the spine crunching fan fic!  
  
Alt.Spooky- Shut up you freak! : Passes out yet this fic was still written!:  
  
Part #2 Start!  
  
Twitch sat on the floor of a room in the basement. Still covered in gore it was dry now though (this takes place around end of comic #4) BLAM! A loud report came from floors above her. Worried she jumped up and ran to the elevator. "Shit!" she grabbed the out of order sign. Then started the climb up stairs. By the time she reached the top it was too late her father lay on the floor bullet though the head. "Dad? Dad? No! Fucking dough-boys!" (Can you hear her mind snapping? I can!)  
  
She fell to her knees " guns? Petty escape! Coward! Dad NO!" (There it goes)  
  
Two days later  
  
Leading Twitch holding her suitcase was Claire walking though a different part of town. "Tee he he! You'll like it at my house Twitch!" Claire smiled kicking a random child with horns growing from his head into the oncoming traffic. (The Anti-Christ perhaps?) With a screech of tires and a splatter of blood she continued "Your dad will be ok! He just needs to sleep for a while" Twitch sighed "Claire first of all… I have known you since you ate our 2nd grade teachers brain with a crayon and have been to your house countless times." Another sigh " Second my father detests err… detested sleep and was shot in the head. He's dead and won't be ok." Claire grinned "But don't be blue bestest best friend! There is always hope!" the mourning teen gritted her teeth "What in the seven hells is the matter with you?! Your so Fucking happy!" The other giggled something she'd never done before and pulled from her pocket a little black skeleton doll (AHH!! SPOOKY!) "This is Spooky he says its good to be happy!" (Author of "Parents" Please don't be angry with me!) "He told you this? Hmmmm?" She nodded furiously. "Yes! Yes He did! And he says he'd like to be your friend Twitch! He really, REALLY would!" Twitch's blank stare turned to a worried expression. "Claire I'd normally never say anything but your really terrifying me now…" Both stopped walking and looked at each other. "Don't be afraid Best friend! Spooky likes you!" "Did it ever occur to you" She grimaced "bestest friend that I might not like Spooky?" Blinking she shook her head "No it didn't! Don't you like him?" "No I don't not at all I think I'll find somewhere else to stay Claire" Slowly she began to walk away.  
  
  
  
Alt.Spooky- HOLY CLOVERS THAT WAS SHORT! 


	3. SPUNKIE-FU!

Chapter 3  
  
By: Alt.Spooky  
  
Twitch walked towards House 777 and saw little Squeegee being chased by some kids twice his size. She dashed after them angry as hell. Squee was pushed aside by a tall boy into the bushes as they ran past him. "Assholes..." Twitch half growled and tackled one boy and ground his face into the sidewalk. "AHHH!!" He cried in agony and the others turned to stare. Smiling widely she stood up to greet the cluster of boys. "Hello...due to the overwhelming thought that your lives are worthless and will one day be key players in the machine of corporate America. I'll stop it right now."  
  
-Good little Duck! Show them now-  
  
"We can make this pleasant and painful if you'll stand there like the morons you...so are. Or you can jump around and scream and make it more fun for me to hunt you down and gut you little gaping mouthed fishes" All thought escaped her. Mind racing at full speed words spurting from her like some fountain of fucked up wisdom. The wounded one groaned leaking blood all over the side walk "Observe!" She swung her boot back one's much like her fathers with the buckles and steel toes and into his skull. With a crack much like the breaking of cheap ply wood chunks of his brain splattered the others.  
  
-Aye! Show them what they did to you! Teach them the lessons society won't!-  
  
The majority let out screams while one emptied the contents of his stomach onto the cement. "SQUEE!!" the young Squeegee pulled on her pant leg causing her to fall backward "please Miss. Twitchy let them go." The cluster took off running as fast as the tiny legs could carry them. "Fine Squee! You'll regret it with their pounding your face in!" She stood up and in a flash was gone.  
  
-What are you doing?!- The voice asked as her entered the house.  
  
"Shut up thing! What ever you are! The moose will hear you!" She yelled changing shirts one that read MONKEY for the blood spattered one.  
  
-I am not a thing Little Duck thank you very much! I have a name I am your new friend-  
  
"And your name is?"  
  
-Spunkie. Its rare we find replacements so quickly even to track one down takes years-  
  
"What? God! This is insane I'm not even talking to anyone."  
  
With a flash of green light a floating emerald orb with yellow eyes blinked at her.  
  
-Will this suffice-  
  
"Oh god" 


End file.
